Nipple Zit
by war wound
Summary: Don't worry, Hijikata. You just might have to wait a little bit, but you can always snap later. But to be honest, a rumor of a third nipple isn't all that bad, is it? Drabble thank you


My first Gin Tama fanfic, I have no idea where the idea came from

* * *

**Nipple Zit.**

This could not be happening.

There appeared to be a blemish on his chest. What? Impossible. He remembered taking a shower last night. Soap was used. He had always taken good care of his body, and he was way past his teenage years. What in the world could have happened?

Hijikata sighed, and stared down at his chest. There was a small reddish bump upon his right pectoral that stung when touched (he had learned that the hard way). Maybe… Just maybe it wasn't acne, like he had thought. Maybe a bee or mosquito had gotten into his shirt whilst he had roamed the city yesterday, all without him knowing.

…A likely story.

He rolled his eyes. This was unimaginable. It's not like anyone would see it through his heavy jacket. But… He would know it was there.

Toushiro Hijikata was not a man to be bothered with trivial things. With the exception of his four o' clock soap opera, of course. But for some reason, this pimple disturbed him greatly. He was the vice commander of a powerful and well-feared police force. He should not be bothered by it.

He grumbled a few curses under his breath, and picked up his hairbrush, listlessly dragging it though his soft black hair. Work was going to start in an hour or so, and it never hurt to be prepared. And to look fabulous while doing it.

After a few moments of making faces into the mirror, trying to perfect his signature glare, Hijikata heard footsteps coming from outside of his closed bathroom door. He listened closer. Sounded like two people were coming down the main hall. And he was rarely wrong.

"I'm gonna go hang out outside for a bit before the meeting starts," a voice said. Hijikata recognized it as Yamazaki's. Then, another voice spoke. "Sure. I'm gonna go take a piss." And that voice was unmistakably Sougo's.

More footsteps, and then the bathroom door opened, revealing the shorter-than-he brown-haired man. Hijikata inwardly cursed himself for not locking the door, and Sougo glanced over to him. "Tou-chan. Hey."

"That's Hijikata-san, to you." The black-haired man scowled as the younger man passed him by the sinks and shuffled lazily over to the urinals. The demonic vice commander watched him walk away from him, and when Sougo unzipped his pants, he glanced back to his reflection, running his hand through his hair. Surely his hair was fine now, but he had to waste time somehow.

He then remembered the blemish that was sitting there mischievously on his chest. Oh God, he hoped Sougo wouldn't see it. That blabbermouth would tell everyone that their deputy chief still had acne.

Hijikata had left his shirt and jacket in his room. Standing there in only his uniform's pants, he felt anxious and bothered, for (at least, this is what it felt like) the first time in his life.

Sougo finished his urinating, and the brown-haired man walked over to the sinks, standing next to his superior's and turning on the hot water. "What are you doing back here? You're usually the first person to show up at the meeting hall."

"I have a life, too, y'know."

"I thought you were too obsessed with your job… Sir." A rebellious streak flashed in his auburn eyes for a moment, and Hijikata found himself almost comforted by his friend's usual cryptic attitude.

"Every now and then, I have to freshen up. Can't be living in filth forever." The black-haired man sighed and stared at his reflection in the mirror. It was time to go now, he concluded silently.

Grabbing the washcloth he had used to wash his face with earlier and flinging it over his shoulder, he turned to the door, but Sougo caught him. "Hey, what's that?"

Hijikata paused, and then turned back to the brown-haired man. "What's that?"

"That." Sougo pointed to, of course, the pimple upon the taller man's chest, and decided to press his finger against it. Hijikata winced slightly, and then swatted the man's hand away. "It… It's nothing. Don't go touching me."

"Is that what I _think_ it is?" Sougo's expression was something like a mix between pure delight and pure disgust, and it was not sitting well with Hijikata at all.

"I-it is not!" The older man found himself horrified with the way he stuttered. "It's just… I got hurt from…"

"Yes, it is!" The brown-haired man turned off the warm water and shook out his hands. "Hah! No wonder you usually take three seconds and the bathroom and speed off to any meetings, you don't want anyone to see."

"You're an asshole." Hijikata muttered under his breath, shuffling his way out of the bathroom and slowly walking down the hallway near his private room.

Sougo snorted playfully and skipped off after him, but made a turn and began to dart down the stairs. "Yamazaki! Yamazaki! Hijikata-san has a third nipple!"

Hijikata stopped in his tracks.

…A third nipple?

He pondered it. Was this worse than having acne?

…Well, it certainly wasn't better.


End file.
